The Life Systems Every Woman Needs to Start Pouring Into Herself: System #2
LIFE SYSTEM #2: STOP LETTING YOUR EMOTIONS RUN YOUR LIFE
A lot of women are not struggling because they “feel too much”. They’re struggling because every intense feeling immediately turns into an action.
Anxiety becomes checking.
Rejection becomes chasing.
Anger becomes sending the text.
Fear becomes avoiding.
Loneliness becomes going back to someone that wasn’t good for you.
Insecurity becomes comparison.
The goal is not to become emotionless. The goal is to create enough space between what you feel and what you do that you can choose your response instead of reacting automatically.
READ THIS
Emotional Agility - Susan David, PhD
If you tend to treat every uncomfortable feeling like something that needs to be fixed immediately, start heere. Emotional Agility teaching you how to eperience emotions without becoming completely controlled by them, and how to make decisions based on your values instead of whatever you happen to feel in that moment.
WORK THROUGH THIS
The Dialetical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook - Matthew McKay, Jeffrey Wood & Jeffrey Brantley
This is not a pretty journal filled with inspirational quotes. It taches actual skills for what to do when you are overwhelmed, angry, anxious, rejected, triggered, or tempted to react in a way you’ll regret later. Don’t read itstraight through like a novel. Work through the exercises you actually need.
LISTEN TO THIS
Listen to this on a walk, in the car, or while you clean. But use the same rule as System #1: Pick one idea from the episode and practice it that week.
DO THIS
The 24-Hour Rule
Whenever you feel emotionally activated, do not immediately make the decision, send the message, confront the person, quit the thing, buy the thing, or go back to the person.
First write down four things:
What happened? Only facts. No interpretation.
What am I feeling? Name the actual emotion: rejectied, embarrassed, angry, scared, jealous, lonely, overwhelmed.
What am I tempted to do? Text them. Block them. Check their page. Quit. Spend money. Pick a fight. Cancel everything.
What would I do if I were calm?
Then wait. For emotionally loaded decisions, give yourself overnight whenever possible. Repeat this every time you notice yourself becoming reactive. It’s teaching your brain “I am allowed to feel this without immediately doing something about it.” The feeling gets a note. It does not get the final decision.
NEXT IN THE SERIES
Life System #3: Stop Making Romantic Love the Center of Your Life
